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Thread: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

  1. #61
    Wild Card JerryD's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    The biggest concern for sam is that he doesn't have all the time in the world to stop running off. He was on edge on Friday morning, not just saying he was going out but also that he wanted us to call the social worker and tell him sam didn't want to live here anymore. We went in circles, but he wouldn't listen. He was insistent that if he was moved he'd be allowed to his mum's close whenever he wanted and out by himself. After 30 minutes I told him to think it over and went upstairs. Kev then tried. I'm not sure what Kev said to him that made him listen but when I came out of the study he was in his room unpacking his things. When I went to him he told me he had changed his mind and he wanted to stay. Clearly that day was the day for Kev to have the magic wand. His turn to be the sam whisperer. We were both relieved but exhausted. It is hard trying to constantly convince him that here is as near to his mum's as he will get. To sell the reasons it's better than a residential care unit. Sometimes you feel like you are pushing too much. But it is in his best interests no matter how many times he fights us on it. He was good for the rest of Friday. He did his jobs and work and we went shopping and for a walk. He accepted the no gym, applebox or iPod for one night as benefits lost in the run off, not to mention the swearing, name calling and she'd climbing!

    On Saturday we already had plans with Yellowlivi to go to the late night riding and fireworks at Blackpool pleasure beach. I'm a big kid so it was one of things I wanted for my birthday. We got sam a wristband too, the previous Saturday had proved that he and his mum weren't ready for long periods together. We all had a great time, went on lots of rides, the weather was lovely, the airshow was happening overhead and later the fireworks were great. I even managed to convince everyone to go on the Viking ride that promised you'd end up wet or soaking wet lol. It was a lot of fun. We managed to time it perfectly so we were on the last ride as the fireworks went off. That night sam said he'd had fun and it was a boss day, before checking if we had fun, then he said it was one of the best days ever. He's not used to such long days so he was still tired after a 10 hour sleep. He even decided he was too tired to go to the gym lol. His behaviour has been fantastic since so we are just crossing our fingers.

    He is making progress on his work too. We have got through the whole alphabet a couple of times with no mistakes and completelng it. He is so proud of himself every time. On Saturdays he doesn't do any work but I heard him practising it downstairs while I was putting clothes away. After trying a few times he ran to Kev to tell him. He got it all right and was so happy. He decided to do it on his own and enjoyed it, that made me happy. His confidence is coming along and that will improve his letters and lead on to reading. A lot of it is about believing you can do it. He is starting to believe. He read a few simple words today which is a big step. When Kev came home he couldn't wait to tell him. He even had a struggle today looking at a blended letter sound, but rather than getting frustrated he took a little break and then kept trying. He wanted me to text Kev and tell him. Kev told him how proud he was when he came home. Then later sam told his mum that sometimes when things are hard you have to take a break and try again and then it's better. Bless him.

    The plan for my birthday was initially a spoil day whilst Michelle (Sam's mum) had sam. That had to be changed when they struggled to be alone together for a long period last week. So the new plan was the three of us go out for the day and then Michelle have sam whilst we go to the new restaurant for dinner. However the social worker doesn't feel "the time is right" for unsupervised visits with mum, because of the episode on that Saturday 2 weeks ago. We were going to cancel the restaurant but my friend (and neighbour), who has known sam a long time offered to sit with him. So after our day out when Kev and I go to to dinner, she will come round. They are going to have "goodies" and watch films. He's excited about it so I hope that means his behaviour will still be good. I am so hugely grateful to her though, it is amazing that she will have him. I can't wait to go for the dinner and have a bit of time as an adult and a couple. That sounds awful. But it will be the first time it's been just Kev and I for a while. Fingers crossed for a good day.

    Thanks again for all your kind words and support xxx

  2. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to JerryD For This Useful Post:

    Alis (15-08-2017), Caro (16-08-2017), cazza99 (15-08-2017), clancy (15-08-2017), Elizabeth (15-08-2017), hfwardhouse (15-08-2017), JAMES4578 (15-08-2017), Jan (15-08-2017), patlowe (15-08-2017), Teresa (15-08-2017)

  3. #62

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Sounds a bit more positive so hopefully you will get a good day x

  4. #63

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    That sounds excellent. It's great you and Kev get a night off. You will need it, and it's important that you get those breaks. It will also be really good for Sam to feel he is getting "naughty" things sometimes. Hopefully he knows he is getting the "goodies" as a direct consequence of his behaviour being good. Grown up children get to have movie nights and treats, not little ones having tantrums.

    Keep up the good fight, and remember these days when the steps back happen.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Teresa For This Useful Post:

    JerryD (15-08-2017)

  6. #64
    Wild Card JerryD's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Sadly Sam's mum didn't appear for her contact with sam until aftee bedtime, 10.30 pm! She was here until just before midnight and sam was wound up again. By the time we got him to bed for some rest for ourselves it was 1.30. Then we weren't in bed til nearly 3. At this point Kev has been awake for 22 hours and drove to gaydon and back. Michelle knew this when she came so late but we had already told sam she would come so couldn't tell her no. The result... today everyone and particularly Kev is exhausted. So we will leave Windermere for today and just have a nice lunch somewhere. Luckily despite going to be wound up sam has managed to calm this morning. He and Kev have just popped out. Hopefully to return with cake. Kev should really be resting after a nightmare day yesterday. But he's a star so there's no telling him. Soppy moment, but he is a legend. Don't tell him lol.

  7. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to JerryD For This Useful Post:

    Caro (16-08-2017), cazza99 (15-08-2017), clancy (15-08-2017), Elizabeth (15-08-2017), JAMES4578 (15-08-2017), jeannie13 (15-08-2017), patlowe (15-08-2017)

  8. #65

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    By all accounts you are both doing an amazing job and couldn't be faulted in any way, it is important you get some free time though Jerry, sounds like it was an enjoyable time in Blackpool and have a great time with just Kev tonight. It's certainly not being selfish and to the benefit of everyone in any case, great that your neighbour is willing and able to help out. I do hope though that the situation with Michelle improves in due course so she can have a bit more input. Good that after the incident Kev was able to talk Sam round and things have been a bit better lately, of course there are likely to be setbacks along the way but hopefully you are now getting somewhere. The process can certainly be stressful though by the sound of it.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to JAMES4578 For This Useful Post:

    JerryD (15-08-2017)

  10. #66
    Challenger Circuit patlowe's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Jerry and Kev, when you get to the point that there are many more good days than bad days, you will be winning! So far I believe you are heading in the right direction. Great job! Well done! Enjoy rest of birthday. xx

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to patlowe For This Useful Post:

    JerryD (15-08-2017)

  12. #67
    ATP Ace! supergran's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Just posted quite a long reply. Told my token had expired and after reloading page as advised can't find my post.

  13. #68
    Challenger Circuit
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    Worcestershire
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    You've got a good one there Jerry and he's got a good one too. You're a great couple. Love to you both and keep up the good work xx Sounds like Sam is taking some good steps forward.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Caro For This Useful Post:

    JerryD (16-08-2017)

  15. #69
    Wild Card JerryD's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Quote Originally Posted by supergran View Post
    Just posted quite a long reply. Told my token had expired and after reloading page as advised can't find my post.
    That's so annoying. It happened to me the other day. I've now started copying into notes on my phone before I press send just in case x

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