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Thread: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

  1. #11
    Challenger Circuit
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    I'm glad today is a better day Jerry. I hope it continues that way. You are amazing doing what you're doing.

    The nurse in me just has a thought about the "tummy bug" .... they rarely last more than a few days. You should try and see your doctor. Could it be IBS?? Take care of yourself xx

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  3. #12
    Moderator RosieBear's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Jerry, I think you and what you're doing is phenomenal. Lucky S to have such a great aunty. You know, I read your and SG's posts and I'm awestruck by the capacity for caring and selflessness. (my little dog is the extent of my responsibility in life :-/ ). Hope your tum feels better soon, stress goes straight to the belly for some so heed Caro re IBS, but hopefully you can feel better all round soon. Take good care Xx
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:37.

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  5. #13
    Challenger Circuit patlowe's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Jerry your description of your life at the moment is making me feel ill just reading it! It's little wonder you feel so poorly. Please slow down and put yourself first at least some of the time. I know that is easier said than done, but hey, S needs you in good health! And we want you in good form next month in Newcastle! Look after yourself! x
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:38.

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  7. #14

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Like others I think you're doing an awesome job Jerry for S in the circumstances (with help from Kev), however seems pretty demanding and it is a lot to take on. You do also need to take care of yourself and the tummy bug could well be a sign of stress, hope it is not IBS though. Must say the "system" in this case is hardly productive!
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:38.

  8. #15

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    I'm glad today is a better day Jerry. I hope it continues that way. You are amazing doing what you're doing.

    The nurse in me just has a thought about the "tummy bug" .... they rarely last more than a few days. You should try and see your doctor. Could it be IBS?? Take care of yourself xx
    Thanks Caro, he has been good. Really good actually, today is the second good day. As well as being good with his work and his jobs, he played nicely and sat calmly. He was chuffed showing his mum his work, and telling her what letters he knew. We went swimming which he loves, though more the messing than the swimming as it " makes his poorly leg tired". They let him in the jacuzzi and the sauna too, so he felt really grown up. When we were in the car on the way home I told him Uncle Kev would be home when we got there, he couldn't wait to get back. Kev was a star after a long day and a return trip to gaydon, Kev sat and looked at his work, then listened when S told him the letters he knew. Kev told him how well he was doing, and he was over the moon. He thinks Kev is the best thing ever!

    I'm really not sure what the stomach thing is, first I thought tummy bug, then stress. It's not something I've had before, it feels like when I had appendicitis but that resulted in my appendix being removed so it's not that. My doctor is horrible so I avoid going. When I went before Peru she decided my migraines were a result of the 6lbs I'd put on since the last time I'd been. 6lbs isn't a great deal, but she took the time to be shaming and nasty over it. When I went after a kiloid scar changed shape and colour, in addition to becoming irritable she just told me to keep it out of the sun. As that one is on th inside of the top of my arm, it doesn't catch sun. She's probably the best of 3 bad doctors there. If I go, shell no doubt say it's because despite being a size 10 I am still 5lbs overweight on the rubbish bmi thing! So I'll give it another week and wait for things to calm and see then.
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:39.

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  10. #16

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Thanks all for your kind words. It certainly wouldn't be possible without all kev's hard work too. I always said my job was dull but the bright side of it now is being based at home I can take care of S without too much worry about childcare. Financially it's far from ideal as our budget just changed dramatically but luckily we can still manage. It's insane the amount of food this lad eats ;p

    Tomorrow is another big step, the first visit from the foster care team. I've been panic stricken about the state of the house, repair work that's needed or whether we will pass the test. My mother had many of her own issues, her behaviour worsened after she and my dad went their separate ways. So I went into foster care myself as a teenager. The initial form I had to fill in asked if you had ever been in care and I had to say yes. Since then I've been worried that they will turn me down because of it. Personally I think it gives me a better understanding of how things are for him. I was obsessed with my personal belongings, someone taking them was the worst thing in the world. I would respond with sadness, sam responds with anger but is as attached to his things. This is why he takes them when he goes out, or hides them in his room. There is a big checklist for every room in the house. So I find myself questioning the house I always thought was lovely, kicking myself for not yet getting to the new bathroom suite or new carpet in S's room. It all feels like a big test. We have been reassuring Him that it will be fine, though I guess he is feeling it as he asked me if he should clean his bedroom window lol. I'm trying to keep it from S but I am nervous. I guess it's going be a long run. They said it could be 16 weeks before it "goes to panel" though no one has really explained what that means either. Fingers crossed for tomorrow anyway.

    Tomorrow night two of His siblings are staying here so we are going to have a film night and easy dinner and relax a little. Then Saturday morning S's mum is coming to have sam while we take his sister on her first hiking trip. We've promised becky this trip, besides S will have a great day with his mum and little brother.

    I have a full day of spoiling coming up. It's my birthday in just under two weeks, we aren't going away as planned, his passport is out of date, and we can't wander of and leave him for 5 days. We are going up to the lakes for a day trip. Just Kev and I. Spending the half the day walking and going for lunch somewhere. Then coming home and Kev is taking me to the new Gino D'acampo restaurant in Liverpool. Probably getting my favourite cake made up too I'm really looking forward to it
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:40.

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  12. #17

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    You could try Buscopan. It is very effective - no bad side effects either. Then if it doesn't help, may be time to see the doctor. Stress can have so many physical effects.

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  14. #18
    Futures Flyer
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    Re: What has made you happy or sad?

    Gosh Jerry, what an incredible thing you are doing helping care for your nephew. I'm exhausted just reading your posts. He is very lucky to have you and Kev. Hope everything goes well with the assessment, will be thinking about you.

    Stomach issue does sound like IBS, which is definitely made worse by emotional stress. My unsympathetic GP also basically told me it was in my mind and I was neurotic so I totally understand your unwillingness to see your GP. If it is IBS it's trial and error to see what foods make it worse or help. Typically wheat and dairy can make it worse; for me its also tomatoes, mushrooms and onions which is very annoying as being veggie they make the basis of a lot of meals! But if things don't improve you must try and get medical advice; Dr Google and well meaning friends aren't really a substitute ☺

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  16. #19
    Wild Card
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Jerry

    what a wonderful aunt you are , hope your sister appreciates all your doing !!!!!

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    JerryD (03-08-2017)

  18. #20

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Thanks guys but to be honest I don't deserve the credit, there weren't any other real options, it was ours or a residential facility until his moods and behaviours could be improved and until his household could be better advised on how to handle him. They don't want to return him home without a lot of changes including extra support for mum. We certainly couldn't see him go to a facility for children far worse than him without trying all we can. Maybe we are wrong and his behaviour isn't manageable, but he deserves that chance. Perhaps it's ignorance or as my cousin called it arrogance, but I do think that there are improvements that can be made. Routine, diet, exercise, better sleeping patterns, fresh air, mental work, none of this is a magic cure and it's nothing new but they are all things he benefited from last time we had him. In 3 weeks we had no tantrums, no run offs, no real anger, mainly frustration. I wasn't expecting the run offs we've had this time, but he is testing the boundaries and settling in, he is aware that it's not just a 3 week respite. Last time we held off getting him a wardrobe and drawers, we didn't want to panic him. This time we all know it is different and we have to help him understand that. Getting a wardrobe might be a tough moment of realisation for him but as no potential return dates or support/training for mum and siblings has been mentioned then it will be a while, so he needs to be prepared for that. The social worker said that a return home was an IF at the moment, not a when and that I needed to explain to S that he lives here now. Easier said than done though. Especially when he is starting to imagine that his mum doesn't want him. To push the idea home the social worker said if He runs to hers she's not to let him in. She has to tell him to return to me. Again all very well in theory but heartbreaking for S and his mum. Then horrible for me when he comes back and says I've stolen him. It's a long road and a bumpy one. We are all just hoping for the best and trying all we can.
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:42.

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