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Thread: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

  1. #21
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Wow Jerry. I'm full of admiration for you. Apart from your health issues you seem to have a handle on this. I hope you can start to feel better within yourself so that you are stronger to deal with this. I have no doubt that you are a fighter and you will get there. My thoughts and best wishes are with you, Kev, S and your sister and family.
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:42.
    2011 Bubble Gap Champion

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    JerryD (04-08-2017)

  3. #22

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    You're an inspiration Jerry. Hope all goes well today and common sense prevails. Routine is so important for all kids, and so are boundaries and you're doing so well to manage all of this with S. He will come to appreciate all you're doing. Thinking about you all x
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:42.

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    JerryD (06-08-2017)

  5. #23
    ATP Ace! Linda's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Jerry, I've just been reading through this thread and like everyone else, I am really impressed with what you are doing but also worried about your health. You really must change your doctor, she sounds awful. How dare she say you are overweight - most of us would love to be as slim as you. The BMI thing is rubbish 'cos muscle weighs heavier than fat, so athletes would all be classed as obese under that system! You have probably just got a healthy bit of muscle on you! Anyway I hope all goes well with your nephew.

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  7. #24
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Your GP does sound awful Jerry. I don't blame you not wanting to go and see her. I'd be tempted to change surgeries I think. Bloody cheek, you are not overweight! xx

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    JerryD (06-08-2017)

  9. #25
    Wild Card lynne's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    WQW! Like everybody else on this thread & who I totally agree with, you have my full admiration, not a lot of people would do this especially one so young as you are, so Jerry all I can say is stay strong & the very, very best of luck!!
    "Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently"

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    JerryD (06-08-2017)

  11. #26

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    I hope it all works out OK for you JerryD. Looks like it is time for you to change your GP practice.

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    JerryD (06-08-2017)

  13. #27

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    We had the first assessment and it was a headache from the start. The social worker attending on The child's behalf called at 9.30 and asked if she could come to see me. I told her she was at 10am. She insisted that wasn't the case and I told her I'd been given her name by both her boss and the foster care team as someone attending the assessment. We went round in circles and she insisted she had no such appointment and couldn't make it in time. I pushed back that we had cleared our schedule for this, Kev had taken an unpaid last minute notice day off work and we needed it to go ahead as agreed. She got off the phone and then called back to say she still had no knowledge, so I pushed back again. The third time she called she said she'd "moved things around" and would come out but would be 40 minutes late. Had she come when we first spoke she would have been early!

    The foster care social worker knocked on the door at 10 on the dot. I guess she'd been waiting in her car for that moment. She was lovely, after checking her ID (which she was surprised to be asked for) Kev told her what had happened with her colleague. She immediately said that's not at all true, I'm really sorry she told you that I'm not sure why she'd say it. She went on to say that the appointment request was first for the previous Friday but The childs socail worker was busy so they rearranged for this one. She said E had emailed her on Wednesday about the appointment and asked if (as they are based in the same office), they should take one car. The foster care social worker said she'd hold eve that she was coming straight from home and that The other one should just meet her here. She kept apologising and saying how bad this made social services look. Not just the failing to keep appointments but also the lies.

    We couldn't not start with the first part of the appointment as The child's SW wasn't there. So instead we started on the personal details of the "prospective foster carers". At this point poor S was bored out of his skull so he asked to have some tele time, The foster SW said we didn't need him yet, so off he went. We finished that interrogation and it was onto a quiz about the house. Health and safety stuff mostly. A number of stupid questions, such as donyiubgave running water, hot water etc, more stupid questions like are the doors locked at night and bizarre ones like where do we keep our fire extinguisher.
    Now we don't have one. When it did become something everyone had in their home? How many of you guys have one?
    Are we just reckless? That's certainly how it felt.

    Then it was the health and safety of our cars and general driving. Questions about smoking and alcohol and diet. Questions about the where we keep meat and how we stop it contaminating other food. Just insanity. I'm sure the questions are written assuming the applicant is stupid. Then questions about of childhoods. Now I love sam and we want to take care of him but my childhood was not great and certainly not for talking about with a woman I just met. Some demons should be allowed to rest. I was happy that when I said my mum had her own problems I was removed from her care, my dad died when I was 17, she just accepted that. Though surprised. What I found out later is that she accepted it because this is the brief box, I will have to my "lifestory work" later in the process and more in depth. Really not looking forward to that, rehashing bad memories and picking at wounds that haven't healed is not going to lead to anything good. When did we decide that everything could be or needed to be resolved? Somethings can't be and all we can do is pick ourselves up and get on with it, looking back doesn't always help. Everyone is different, so coping strategies are different...
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:44.

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  15. #28

    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Anyway Fosterc SW was nice. She was helpful and informative. She told us that we would have to have 7 appointments with the foster care social worker before it went to panel and there would need to be a lot more forms and life story work done in that. The PNC check had been done and now we had to to the deep records check. She said we'd be given "homework" after each meeting though she didn't say what that was. She also said we had to go on a training course. More days off work and money lost to prove we are capable or taking care of a child we have been taking care of, on and off for 15 years. She said the whole process could take months, maybe even 6 months so she's not sure why I though 16 weeks max. Once it goes to panel if we are approved then they will pay me 30 a week as wage, I best not spend it all at once lol. If we are denied, which she thought was unlikely there are other options open to us which she mentioned. Over all it seemed to be going well. I told her about Our routine, how we divide up each day and have at least a rough plan for each one so he knows what to expect. We talked about His letters and numbers and the progress he has made since coming here. Kev told her about the independent living type tasks we were doing with him, helping him get practical skills. We talked about diet and activities and exercise. She then said we were doing a wonderful job. She was really happy with the progress in S's behaviour and work. She said it was wonderful to have foster parents who really care for and advocate for the young person. She asked why we didn't have children of our own because it seemed that we would incredible parents. We said we had just never wanted children, for hundreds of reasons but not because we don't like them. She then said that we really understood what S needed which is rare and could give it to him which is rarer still. Ours is a friends and family foster placement but as it goes to panel like any other, when it's approved we could foster other children if we wanted too. She said we could have another while sam was here as we have the room and she would like us to give it serious consideration. She was so supportive and full of praise, we felt like we were doing well. Sadly then The child's cover SW arrived lol
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:45.

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  17. #29
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    All I can say is you are made of sterner stuff than me. I salute you. Years ago I thought about Fostering, but realised that I genuinely couldn't have coped with the invasion of my privacy by leftie Social Worker types. I worked with some very good ones as a Special Needs Coordinator, but also some very bad ones.

    I wish all of you, including S the very best of luck. Remember it's perfectly ok to think about throttling some of the idiots you will come across, providing you don't actually do it.......!!!
    Last edited by pabbers; 17-09-2017 at 09:45.

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    JerryD (07-08-2017)

  19. #30
    Challenger Circuit patlowe's Avatar
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    Re: JerryD will soon need a pacemaker...

    Well done Jerry. You and Kev seem to be passing every test with flying colours. How are you feeling now? Hope "bug" has gone?

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    JerryD (07-08-2017)

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