Dealing with "Andy-bashing"?

[HenFan]

Hi everyone,

Big thanks to Sallydaisy for advising me the best place to start this thread! :)

For me, there's only ever been one bad thing about being an Andy fan - and that is, encountering lots of people who are "anti-Andy" and having to deal with the (IMO) stupid and deliberately provocative things that they say. :(

I encounter this both in my "online life" (today one of my Facebook friends posted up "Nice one Djokovic :-) " as their status in reaction to the AO final result) and in my "offline life" - I have one friend who decided to take a dislike to Andy after the alleged "anyone but England" news reports, and knows that I'm a passionate Murray fan - she takes great delight in coming up to me and gloatingly telling me how glad she is whenever she hears that he's lost. I've tried telling her that the "anyone but England" issue was a joke taken out of context but she refuses to listen.

I suppose I'm sensitive to all of this because Andy's tennis career has always lit up some of the darkest times in my life and given me something positive to focus on when I've most needed it, and as a person he inspires me to strive to be the best I can be, I respect and admire him a lot...i.e., he's more than just a sportsman whose career I take an interest in. :)

Of course there will always be people who have different favourites and that's a totally different thing - I have a friend in Australia who's a passionate Federer fan and so of course whenever he & Andy play there's a conflict of loyalties! ;) So I'm not talking about that, but more about those people who have just decided to be "anti-Andy" and to make life as unhappy as possible for those of us who support him, as though they're somehow taking out their dislike of him on fans like myself. :(

Does anybody else encounter this, and if so, how do you deal with it? Both in terms of whether or not you say anything to the people attacking him (and if you do, what you say to them) or ways of coping and stopping this making you unhappy / sad / angry, etc.? :)

I realise I don't post here as much as I should, so I hope the contents of this post are all OK re: forum rules, etc. - again, thanks Sallydaisy for your help with this! :)

Take care, and thanks for listening! :)

[xenon21]

Nice post Henfan. Is very frustrating when we encounter Murray haters. Unfortunately they come up plenty a time on twitter too. If they are people you can reason with, I ask them if they have even met them and then I sometimes share my experiences of the amazing family! How great he is with fans, the stuff they do for charity and advise them to read other interviews apart from post match where even their faves can be grumpy! This sometimes works in person. I have had others start following ANdy and liking him. Albeit they weren't proper haters initially but by reading stories or watching the odd match got the wrong impression. Some are just unbearable and then just ignore them!

On twitter sometimes you come up against a brick wall. Some of the stuff I have read which have actually @ replied Judy or ANdy have been disgusting! As if being anonymous allows them to act like that. Reporting if awful helps be feel a bit better. For me the most important thing is to not drop down to their level if I can. There is such thing as discussion and banter. And another such as being rude!


Not sure that helps at all but felt nice to post my feelings ;)

Luckily there are some lovely fans of other players like Novak who have restored my faith where others (not andy fans) have failed

[david1610]

Ultimately, some people do not know what they are talking about but that does not stop them having an opinion.

There is also another phenomenon which is that we are still at a relatively young stage in social networking and unfortunately so many comment threads fill up with vitriol. Or cynicism. Or both. Go to a Youtube page with a piece of music you like. Somebody will have hated it. It is not helped by groups like politicians always stating what is wrong with the other lot's ideas rather than being positive about their own.

I have not read any formal analysis of it, but I am a translator as well as a teacher and we were recently discussing something in a forum and it ended up like teenagers flaming each other. I do not know if it is the possibility for ambiguity or misunderstanding or that we tend to polarize when writing comments like these....

Anyway, to cut a long story short, one of the reasons you read bad comments about Andy is that you read bad comments on most threads at this stage of the life of the Internet. I think we will need to mature in our use of the medium and hopefully get some more tools to help us convey our ideas in a clearer and more civilised manner!

[Linda]

I read the other day in the news that instances of vandalism in this country have dropped by about half. It seems that the main reason is that the vandals no longer paint their messages on real-life walls but post them on Twitter and Facebook. It's certainly not only Andy who suffers - a couple of women players have been hounded off Twitter by these people, and virtually everyone who is famous gets loads of abuse on these so-called 'social networking' sites. I don't suppose Andy gets any more of it than anyone else. I don't actually see much of it myself because I choose to only follow a small number of people.

[Madeline]

My daughter bull-dozed me into joining Facebook and Twitter, but I can't get away with either of them, so my experiences are of internet tennis forums.

The first one I joined back in 2005 was the BBC forum. I spent a LOT of my time on there defending Andy, then they changed the forum format, I lost interest and left completely.

The second, also in 2005, was MTF. I still read there late at night when I need a laugh. The "Tardism" as they call it - extreme fan over-reaction - can be very funny. I don't post much but if I see a downright lie or a complete misunderstanding of something about Andy, I can't help jumping in. If I see threads which are obviously set up just to "bash" Andy I just don't read them.

I was wasting too much time and energy battling the Andy-haters, especially at the moment when I have very bad problems with my husband's health, so now I just think that they don't know what they are missing and stay out of it.

I don't know any other Andy fans personally except my daughter, in fact I don't know any other tennis fans, so arguments with friends is not a problem!

[Golden Lady]

Great post Henfan and I have almost started this thread myself on a couple of occasions. It's the 'friends' comments that hurt the most isn't it? I have a friend who was very mean about Andy (ABE incident :rolleyes:) but over time he has seen that his comments actually cause me offence so he has stopped. He made a point of speaking to me about Andy winning the US Open, saying how well he had done which was purely for my benefit as he strongly dislikes Andy. That is therefore a situation mended as far as I'm concerned. The latest upset I had was over Christmas when a family member (an in-law) started verbally bashing Andy over SPOTY, saying Mo Farah should have come 3rd as what has Andy actually achieved :shocked::shocked::shocked:. The only response I could give him (as he clearly knows nothing about sport) was sarcasm "Oh I know, terrible isn't it, he's achieved nothing, Gold and Silver Olympic Medals, a Grand Slam and first British man to win one in 76 years, absolutely disgraceful!" This shut him up and I don't believe he will go there again.

But you know, when I get wound up by things I see on Facebook, twitter (twitter's great for blocking etc) and comments by friends/family etc, I think back to Tuesday 11th September when every Murray fan stood tall and Andy silenced them all!! There will be more days like that to come I am certain and days like that are worth all the digs and negativity along the way. Let's face it folks, they're clutching at straws anyway (especially the ABE thing) as Andy is a true pro, committed to his sport, a good living guy who has worked extremely hard to get where he is and he has done it on his OWN.

[Caro]

My husband can't stand Andy!! He doesn't follow sport anyway but because of my love of tennis, used to take a vague interest when Tim and Greg were playing. Since it's been Andy though, he doesn't even stay in the same room when I'm watching on TV! He actually believed the ABE thing, I think due to experience with other Scots, and nothing I say can persuade him otherwise!

We just agree to disagree and just don't talk about tennis at all. At least he doesn't bait me or say nasty things but it's such a shame that something I love so much is something we can't share. I have all you guys to talk tennis with and share matches with and everyone I have met going to DC.

[supergran]

Great post Henfan. Over the years I have met criticism a lot, some of it quite vicious and mainly from football fans who take little or no interest in tennis. I have defended him vigorously describing. like Xenon, what a really lovely person he is to meet as is his family. How they go out of their way to help fans, work for charity etc etc. I have managed to change some minds but others are stubborn and tell me they still hate him!!!!:barmy: I have written e-mails to journalists (not tennis journos) who have said really nasty things about him and I would cheerfully and willingly stand up in a crowded room and say what I think of him. What really gets me are the people who, after mocking me for years saying he would never win a major are now criticising him again because he lost. These people support rugby, football and cricket teams but fail to see the irony when they go on supporting their teams after losses. I certainly never comment on results in other sports as I would hate to offend or hurt my friends and acquaintances who feel passionately about them. It's a great pity that people today are so eager to criticise, run down and insult the best tennis player these isles have produced in the Open era. They should be lauding him to the skies instead of hurling insults and malicious comments at him at every chance they get. But to your question as to how I deal with it I will just describe a scene to you. Person starts insulting/criticising Andy in my presence.....Sharp intake of breath from Supergramps/son/daughter-in-law and you hear these words "Don't go there. she will demolish you". Some have and have been.:grrr: I do not hold back. Husband often says I should ignore them but my philosophy is why should I when I can tell them the truth and point out to them in public how unintelligent, intolerant and lacking in real knowledge they are.:yahoo:

[david1610]

Everything is relative. I do not know how many of you have read about the online comments Professor Mary Beard has received after a Question Time appearance.

I think it puts the criticisms of Andy into perspective. Remember he came third in the SPOTY award in a golden year of sport. Votes from the public.

As far as I know nobody has gone so far as to make crude sexual innuendos or post graphic images about Andy based on his performance on the tennis court. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for well-meaning professional women like Professor Mary Beard.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2013/jan/26/mary-beard-question-time-internet-trolls?INTCMP=SRCH

or http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/jan/21/mary-beard-suffers-twitter-abuse

[banskogirl]

Good thread Henfan ;) I don't get so annoyed now as I did a few years ago. I think the main problem nowadays is that some people believe everything the media feeds them. They don't put any energy into finding things out for themselves. I don't mind so much when it is people with no interest in tennis apart from winding us up, they are never going to speak unless its negative, then there are the 'Wimbledon only' squad who don't think tennis exists outside of SW19. I have a friend who is really into her sport and has been to Wimbledon, I was really disappointed and took it personally last year when I saw her just after the Olympics and ran up and said, well did you see Andy get the gold? She just said, but why couldn't he have won Wimbledon? I was so hurt for Andy! At that stage I just thought, they don't deserve him! I think he does realise its across the board that people jump on the band wagon, what is it they're called, like fair weather friends? Anyway we have always said we will have the last laugh and apart from what Andy will win in the future, he has already done and won more than most of them will admit to, so don't worry they will eventually have to give in, shut up or bury their heads deeper in their newspapers!

[Jan62]

Great post Henfan. My sister hates Andy (well, maybe not hate but certainly doesn't like him) - she loved Tim, and can't bear Andy but especially dislikes Judy. I have tried and tried and tried to convince her of the error of her ways, we now agree to disagree. However, I have had more success with a colleague. She was not a fan, and actually liked Fed. But finally she has come round to my way of thinking - still likes Fed but she now likes Andy too :) It was not just my influence, the Gold medal was the start of the turn around for her. Actually although I get upset when people get nasty about Andy, I kind of feel like the long standing fans (ie the ones who liked him before the Gold medal and the US Open) are in an elite club with bragging rights. So I'm not too bothered if there are more outside the club than inside, as long as the ones inside know the real Andy (as much as we can know him from a distance) and stand by our man!

[banskogirl]

On a brighter note......

I didn't even make it up the church steps last night before I got the 'are you not in mourning?' Then inside it was, 'oh dear you made it out then?' Instead of getting annoyed I just thought, well Andy gets worse and at least they all know I'm an Andy fan! Later one of the fellas left his guitar, came sat beside my hubby and said 'I thought he was going to win!'

It was so funny, hubby was so shocked because he never thinks Andy will win!

As if this wasn't enough the speaker got up on the platform and began with....does anyone know what happened this morning? Lots of people looked at me and then he put a pretend Andy voice on and made a pretend speech! (Bare with me). He then talked about Paul in prison for the gospel and how he coped......FOCUS!! This is the sort of focus Paul had, like Andy Murray and don't knock this fella, he might've lost today but look what he has achieved and how far he has come and there's lots more to come! It was so good, he even mentioned what Andy has gone through, media and fitness, to get to where he is today. I didn't miss telling him later how good he was and told him I would tell you all :). Hubby off course told him he thought he was going to church to get away from tennis and how I was obsessed. :rolling: I should send him to SG!

[Jan62]

Oh banskogirl, that's brilliant. I was very bad and missed church yesterday morning so I could see the match. Very bad. But everyone is used to me, and I had several texts and emails immediately after the service asking me for an update, then several more once they knew the result to make sure I was coping! But your speaker has given me the next talk for our children's address when its my turn :) Sorted! thanks.

[banskogirl]

Oh banskogirl, that's brilliant. I was very bad and missed church yesterday morning so I could see the match. Very bad. But everyone is used to me, and I had several texts and emails immediately after the service asking me for an update, then several more once they knew the result to make sure I was coping! But your speaker has given me the next talk for our children's address when its my turn :) Sorted! thanks.

I missed morning church too :shamed: sky was on the blink and I couldn't guarantee seeing the match at all! If it had recorded I wouldn't have had time to watch before getting Back out for Sunday school!

Andy needed our support ;)

[Madeline]

What a lot of church-goers there are on here- I'm one too. Maybe Andy attracts our support because he is such a decent lad.

[LC the fan]

Dont let it get to you Henfan. All sportsman/stars/personalities/actors etc have their fans and their detractors. Somehow, though, when its such an indivi8dual sport as tennis it does seem so very personal. The press are softening their approach a little - nothing succeeds like success - and all want to be a part of the 'I always knew he could do it' brigade :grrr: I also notice that many of my friends are starting to defrost a little with their attitude. I had a text on Sunday morning from my Rafa supporting friend saying 'I'm on your side this morning - I think he deserves it now' I could have been rude by I just smiled !

My advice is to stay positive, correct any obvious untruths and let Andy's tennis speak for itself as it will surely do. Meanwhile stay on the forum :grouphug: We need each other at times

[Jan]

I missed morning church too :shamed: sky was on the blink and I couldn't guarantee seeing the match at all! If it had recorded I wouldn't have had time to watch before getting Back out for Sunday school!

Andy needed our support ;)

tee hee - I was in my car in the church car park listening to the radio till the last possible moment - one of my friends arrived and said "I know what you're doing!" Then I dashed out afterwards too!!

[Guerkins2]

I've lost count how many times I have explained to people that the 'anyone but England' was a joke/banter, but people often don't believe me. The other comment I get from people who know I am a fan, is how he doesn't smile in interviews. I usually suggest they watch interviews that aren't post match, when he often seems so much more relaxed. I've not met him, but he comes across as being a fun guy, and as I say to people he's brilliant at his job, which is a tennis player, not public speaker!

[JAMES4578]

As others have stated Andy is not the only one who gets abuse,though clearly it can be hurtful. However, I generally like to think the fans outnumber "the idiots". Obviously the media at times can be partly to blame but I think that if folk don't get to know the real Andy that is their loss. Wouldn't say I get many offensive comments in real life bit if I find anything objectionable then I will certainly defend Andy. Realise it can be difficult if friends or family are haters as this is bound to create friction unless you avoid the topic. of course realise that a bit of banter is a different thing and people are entitled to support who they like but often the criticism goes way beyond that.

Must admit I was a bit annoyed when I mentioned I had been at Andy's victory parade in Dunblane someone at work stated they wouldn't have went as he hadn't gone to Glasgow. No matter how much I put the case thast Murray was tired after that brutal match at the Us Open they just wouldn't listen. However, other folk were supportive. Online whilst on ocassions I'll ignore cruel comments sometimes you feel you have to respond. on a board of Tim Henman fans (though I don't go there often now) few really support Andy and some comments can get to you. I mind one of the times he didn't play Davis Cup folk were saying he should be ashamed of himself and that he was selfish to put it mildly!

[Caro]

James - I always used to find a lot of Tim and Greg fans only liked their player and by default didn't like any other British player who might be a threat to their hero! Ridiculous!!

Banskogirl - sounds like you and I have a fair bit in common with our husbands! Mine is always saying I am obsessed with tennis!

[Paull805]

I find it incredibly frustrating also! People talking about the "ant-English" rubbish, when it was plain to see it was BANTER between him and Henman.