In Sickness and in Health

Oh, SG - I can understand your frustration. I do hope your story has a satisfying ending.

Maureen...:hug:

So stressful caring for loved ones and trying to get the best possible care for them. You have really been tested. Thank goodness you have a supportive family and the tennis interest to give you the occasional joyful moments. :banghead:

I have been under a lot of stress, been heartbroken at times and have been driven to rage over the past few years but what happened in January before Alan was discharged on the 13th tested me to the hilt, reduced me to tears (in private) many times and turned me into a woman of steel fighting intransigence and professional condescension..................................... ..One morning I received a phone call from a physiotherapist. She was bright and cheerful and told me that Alan was ready for discharge. She explained that she had seen him that morning, that he had got out of bed on his own using a Zimmer and had walked to the toilet unaided. I questioned this and she assured me that someone was with him. I replied that he was having a good day but that it could change later. I asked her about the bed and she said that in her professional opinion there was no need for a bed and she would not be authorising one. My heart sank and I immediately felt so angry. I asked fairly politely why it was up to her and how many times she had seen him and for how long. She told me that she'd only just met him, it didn't really matter how long she was with him as this was her professional diagnosis. I became very agitated and asked who put her in charge of decisions denying something that others had agreed he needed. She said that the District Nurses would not authorise a bed either as they only provided them for palliative care. I questioned her use of vocabulary saying that my husband had been diagnosed in November with a condition he'd probably had for over three years and prognosis was five to six. She wouldn't be moved and said I could buy one but one would not be provided as in her professional opinion he didn't need one. I told her the conversation was ending and cut her off. I immediately burst into tears, sobbing and felt in total despair.

I immediately rang my son at work. I only ever ring him if Alan has gone to hospital. He answered and I gasped out my news sobbing throughout. He told me to stop crying and asked if I was angry telling me to channel the anger and ring the hospital straightaway. After calming down and collecting my thoughts I did. I was put through to PALS and a very sympathetic lady said she would go to the ward and ring me back. She phoned later and said he would be getting a bed. I was so relieved and happy going in that afternoon but my relief and happiness were short-lived when I arrived on the ward.

aww Maureen, I have followed your journey quietly, privately and whilst I can't know the depth of your suffering or feel your pain, I have thought of you often and hoped that whilst there may be no miracle cure, that hopefully Alan was comfortable and at peace in his world and still able to enjoy your company, and that you would be able to take comfort and support in the fact that the support network that has been built around you both over the course of this wretched journey you are on, would be working in your favour and be the best this country could provide :doh::crying::crying::crying::crying:

One of the nurses told me there was still doubt about the bed. Physiotherapists still saying he didn't need one. I asked her what she thought and she said all the nurses were on our side and he did need one. I spoke to Sister and she said she was going to discuss it with Matron. In front of both the nurse and Sister I told them Alan would not be leaving the hospital unless we had the bed, that if they brought him home in an ambulance I wouldn't be in. I said you need to pass this on to people in charge of the hospital and they agreed. Once again arrived home feeling depressed.

Break now for Unforgotten. Supergramps watching Super League.

pleased he is enjoying his rugby tonight:thumbup:

Oh dear Maureen, what a lot you have had to put up with. It strikes me that it might be best if he were in a care home and you could visit him every day and not have these stressful battles.