Do Not Go Gently into that Good Night or "It's Life Jim, but Not as We Know it"

[supergran]

I wake up in bed alone as I have done since January. No supergramps smiling at me as he gets up early and gets ready for his day. Those days are long gone, well before January but I still remember them as I lie here wondering how he will be today. I think back to the trips and falls, to the signs of something going wrong, to the epilepsy diagnosed years ago but now well-managed by medication and to the 23rd November 2016. On that day we finally had an explanation, a diagnosis. We were told at the Walton Centre by a very kind Neurologist that my lovely, funny, kind husband has Supranuclear Palsy, a degenerative brain condition. I'd never heard if it but since then know a lot about it. I have researched it, joined a forum and the more I read of other sufferers and carers' experiences the more prepared I am for what is to come. It is April and Alan is once more in hospital. I am unhappy. Each day I go in and find his table away from him so he can't reach for his drinks. I give him a full breaker and he drinks it greedily. He was thirsty! I feed him every day with his evening meal. A nurse passes by one day and comments on the clean plate. I tell her he has a good appetite and she tells me he doesn't at lunch time. I question this later and told that he's very often asleep. You have to wake him I say inwardly screaming with anger and frustration.........................I make a decision which I tell the GP: He will never go back into hospital. He will never be left alone in a room as he was this year, never be thirsty and missing meals......................Are you happy I ask and he always replies Yes, I'm happy at home with you. This is where he is staying!